Wednesday, 19 December 2012

It was first time you ruined my feelings

It was first time you ruined my feelings
  -By Khosrul Hossain

It was raining heavily outside the school. A few students were sitting around me in the classroom including some girls. Some naughty friends and I were just having some fun over some topic laughing and leaning over one another sitting on a high bench. It was class time but the teacher was absent may be because of the rain. We were all with partially wet dresses and disheveled hair as we had walked through the rain.
Suddenly, we heard the shuffle of someone's feet entering our classroom. A teacher with some books in his hands, that we really did not like to waste our time on, entered the class.
                We had to come down from the high bench and sit down with the others and obey the classroom discipline. I took a seat next to the girls' row. I thought it would be easier to bunk through the backdoor when the teacher turned towards the blackboard. I had done it many times to rescue myself from the boring lectures and joined my friends to play cards and smoke a cigarette sitting near the school boundary wall.
As the teacher turned to the black board, I felt someone drew my attention to look at her and I forgot to bunk the class in no time. I could not help myself and kept my eyes on her. She was sitting next to me on the girls' row. I could not see her eyes properly. Within a moment, I felt as if she were mine, as though god had sent her only to be mine. I had never felt like that. I did not know it was that moment when people said, "Love at first sight". I kept staring at her innocent face. I wished I could kiss her. I looked at her black curly hair cascading down her back. In a moment, the classroom turned into a small world for me. I felt as if I were in heaven.
          Anyway, suddenly a lightning crashed on my head. Ouch! the teacher hurled a chalk at my head as I was looking at the girl without paying attention to the teacher's lectures. I kept myself under control and sat on the bench properly.
She gave me a smile suddenly. She just took my heart away by that bright smile. I could not do anything but fall in love. I did try to keep clam, as I did not have the power to stop myself even if I wanted. It was really a good moment in my life. I felt a thousand budding roses blossoming in the winds. Sometimes I caught myself smiling thinking about her for no reason. The smile I had seen on her face was unforgettable.
My friends forced me to give them a treat as they got to know that I had fallen in love. We enjoyed that night with beer and chicken while planning how to propose her. They predicted that she will be mine soon.

              I cannot wait for anything. I wanted to propose on the day after the holidays got over.
It was Monday and I went to school early. I noticed she had not come yet. I stood with two red roses beside the gate. Time went by but she did not come. For the first time in my life, I felt sad. I returned home quietly. My broken heart was seeking the answer to the question 'why did not she come?’ It was the first time I felt a huge rock on my chest. It was not easy to stay home alone and trying to find out the answers. I came out and started walking aimlessly. I did not know where I was to go. I left the road behind and entered a lane following some glittering lights and loud music. I went close to the house the music was coming from and saw some kids dancing. A wedding was being held in the house. I saw a middle-aged man coming towards me and pulled my hand to take me into the house. The man was well known to me because he was my father’s good friend. It was his daughter’s wedding and so he asked me to stay and participate in the festivities.
As I entered the main hall my body froze, my heart stopped beating for a moment. I saw she was sitting dressed like a bride. I realized that it was her wedding that I was attending. She was looking happy but she did not notice me. I felt my eyes were filling up with tears. I slowly closed my eyes and the tears slithered down on the floor. It was the first time tears rolled out of my eyes melting my heart. I could not make myself stay there. I came out slowly and took a deep breath.
               I could not do anything that night apart from wetting my pillow. My heart whispered sobbing, “I will no longer be so happy again with someone, I will no longer wait for someone with roses in my hand only to ruin my feelings again''.

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